What to Do When Your External Reality No Longer Aligns with Your Heart, Spirit, and Soul

Life has a way of bringing us face-to-face with moments where the world we’re living in no longer feels right. It’s as if a deep, inner knowing starts whispering—or perhaps shouting—that the reality around us doesn’t align with what’s true for us anymore. It can feel disorienting, overwhelming, and even heartbreaking when we realize that the life we’ve built or the people we’re surrounded by no longer support our growth or the reality we wish to create. But here’s the thing: this realization is not the end; it’s an invitation to realign with your soul’s truth.

Recognizing the Misalignment

The first step is acknowledging that something feels off. Maybe you’re in a career that doesn’t inspire you, or you’re surrounded by people you love who are stuck in disempowering belief systems. Maybe you’re unsure what your next step is or what your desired reality even looks like, but you know it’s not this. Recognizing this discomfort is crucial because it’s a sign that your inner self is ready for change.

This is exactly what happened to me in the beginning stages of my awakening to where I was unaligned in my life. I looked around and realized that—even though I still cared deeply for the people in my life—this wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore. I felt a pull toward something different, even though I couldn’t quite recognize or define it at the time. That feeling was enough. That was the starting point. And it was valid. Looking back, I realize my soul was calling me to something more authentic—something aligned with who I was becoming.

That inner nudge was the beginning of me giving myself permission to want something more.

Giving Yourself Permission to Want More

It’s easy to feel guilty for wanting more, especially if you’re in a comfortable situation or surrounded by people who may not understand your need for growth. But remember: your desire for alignment and fulfillment isn’t selfish. It’s a call to step into a higher version of yourself, one that honors your unique purpose and truth. Give yourself permission to want more and trust that it’s okay to change.

Navigating Relationships with Love

When you’re surrounded by people who hold disempowering beliefs, it can feel isolating. You might worry about disappointing them or losing their approval. The truth is, staying inauthentic to yourself to please others only creates more disconnection in the long run. Instead, approach these relationships with love and compassion. Understand that everyone is on their own journey, and it’s not your job to change them. Your responsibility is to honor your own path. As you grow, you might inspire others to do the same, but that’s a byproduct—not the goal.

I’ll admit—I’ve been guilty of this myself. When I started understanding things from a different perspective, I wanted to share because these shifts opened me up to new ways of perceiving the world within and around me, and it helped me feel better about life in general. I know there is life beyond the situations we believe we're stuck in. But it requires our participation to allow ourselves to move forward into the unknown.

Deciding You Want Change

Sometimes, the hardest part is making the decision to change. It’s easy to come up with reasons why you can’t—finances, fear, other people’s opinions. But what if those reasons are just stories? What if the first step is simply deciding that you want something different and being open to the possibility that change is possible? Once you decide, the universe has a way of opening doors you couldn’t see before.

Taking Action Toward a New Reality

Creating a new reality requires action, even when it feels scary. Start small if you need to: journal about your ideal life, spend time with people who uplift you, or explore new interests that spark joy. Over time, these small actions compound and create momentum. Be willing to let go of what no longer serves you, even if it feels like parts of your current life are falling apart. Sometimes, dismantling what isn’t working is necessary to make space for what’s meant to be.

Embracing the Discomfort

Change isn’t always easy. It requires tremendous courage to step into the unknown, especially if it means disappointing others. But ask yourself: why would you keep creating a world where you’re unhappy just to gain acceptance or approval? Living for others while your soul is slowly dying inside isn’t sustainable. Choosing yourself may feel uncomfortable, but it’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself and, ultimately, for those around you.

Trusting the Process

Transformation is not linear, and it’s rarely immediate. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Trust that the discomfort, uncertainty, and even the pain are part of the process. You’re shedding old layers to make room for something beautiful and aligned with your heart, spirit, and soul.

The other day, I saw a lizard shedding its skin. It paused in stillness, halfway between its old exterior and the new layer beneath. It was such a simple moment, but it struck me deeply. Lizards shed their skin because they’ve outgrown it. The old layer becomes too tight, too restricting for their expanding bodies—and so, they must let it go. The process can look awkward, raw, and vulnerable, but it’s absolutely necessary for growth.

We’re not so different. When we start to outgrow the version of ourselves that was built for survival, approval, or comfort, life invites us to shed. Not because the old self was wrong or bad, but because it can’t hold the new version of us that’s coming to life. Like the lizard, we might feel exposed, even unsure, in the in-between stage—but that’s part of the beauty. You’re in the process of becoming.

Creating a New World

When you honor your truth, you not only create a better life for yourself, but you also contribute to a better world. Imagine if more people stopped living for external validation and started creating lives that supported their health, happiness, and well-being. That shift begins with you.

So, take a deep breath. Trust your inner knowing. And remember: you have the courage to realign your life with your heart, spirit, and soul. The world needs your authentic light, and it all starts with the decision to honor your truth.